James Bond is the one with the rep for the quick wit and suave urbanity. In fact, there's a lame computer-user somewhere out there who, when it comes to dispensing puns in the thick of the action, is actually Bond's superior. That computer-user is Me.
How does one measure my wit vs. Bond's? Let's cherry-pick moments from the series where Bond make a pun, and stack it up against my punnery. It's fairer that way.
How does one measure my wit vs. Bond's? Let's cherry-pick moments from the series where Bond make a pun, and stack it up against my punnery. It's fairer that way.
Round 1: THE SPY WHO LOVED ME (1977)
Bond has just defeated Jaws in hand-to-hand combat by causing some stone ruins at an Egyptian temple to topple onto Jaws, burying him in rubble.
Bond's pun: "Egyptian builders!"
My pun: "The don't make ruins like they used to!"
Me: 1
Bond: 0
Round 2: CASINO ROYALE (2006)
Bond is tied naked to a chair and has his genitals struck repeatedly by a big chunk of knotted rope by a torturer.
Bond's pun: (crying like a bitch) "The whole world is going to know you died scratching my balls!"
My pun: (nonchalantly) "Hm? Oh, sorry, I didn't feel that. My enormous penis cushioned the impact."
Me: 1, 927, 004
Bond: 0
There, I win. The British government should hire me or something.
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